My New Year starts today… and I suck

Okay, I know it’s the 3rd, but my New Year has started today since it’s my first full day home. I have already broken most of my resolutions, so I am starting over. I don’t believe that if you slip that you should give up. I want to stop smoking, so I am going to. I had my morning cigarette this morning, and I feel like crap. I didn’t smoke it because I needed to, or even wanted to, I did it because it’s what I do when I wake up. Well, I am going to TRY my best to make that little half cigarette the last thing I ever smoke. It sucks because now that I am telling myself that I can’t have them, I want them even more. But now instead of stealing 5 minutes from Grace to sneak outside, I am going to clean. And believe me this place needs it. We were going to clean Wenesday when we got the call that Jonathon had died, so our house was left a mess. Anyway, I am looking into everything I want to change this year and I am going to make a new list of Resolutions and I am determined to keep them. I have done it before. I smoked for 5 years and threw them out the window when I found out I was pregnant, I should be able to do it now for Grace again. Also, I am going to the gym on Thursday with my friend Heather, so I am keeping at least one of my resolutions so far. Blah blah, no one really cares, but I feel like talking…. but now I will stop.