scared

I just called my Grandpa in Little Rock to tell him Merry Christmas and see what he’s been up to. He said he got more presents this Christmas than ever before. This should have made me happy, right? Wrong. I know why they did that, they don’t expect him to be here next Christmas. I haven’t seen him since the summer of 05. so he has never met Lee or Grace. We are trying to plan a trip up there soon so I can see him and he can met my family. He’s my only living grandparent (I have a grandmother but she’s sick and doesn’t even remember me and I never see her or talk to her) and I don’t want to lose him. When I asked him how he was doing he said he felt great….but he can no longer walk. He had a stroke a few years back and quadruple bypass surgery and lost the use of his left side. Now it’s almost all gone. He also said he didn’s have any energy, but in his words “I don’t need it to sit around and watch Fox News all day”. It was probably the most depressing thing I have ever heard. I love him so much and I feel bad for not seeing him more often, but he lives out of state and I am always moving around. God, let me see him one more time, please.